Empty Nester

When the Last One Leaves the Nest

It seems like only yesterday that we loaded the mini van with our dearest possession, our son, and the miscellaneous stuff needed for life in a college dorm. And believe me we had stuff (lots of stuff) as we headed off to Philadelphia where our son would be attending college. As it neared the time of his leaving, there was a Disney TV commercial airing which depicted a couple saying good bye to their daughter as she left to go away to school. The daughter was doing her best to cheer up the obviously (or so it seemed) distressed parents. That is, distressed until child was out of site. Then Mom & Dad take on a whole new demeanor of delight. Apparently they had secretly planned a trip for themselves to Disney. Each time I saw this commercial, I would feel waves of guilt wash over me because I really did look forward to "a life after kids". Dear God, what kind of mother really looks forward to an empty house (one which stays clean for at least 5 minutes.) Dear God, what kind of mother looks forward to a relaxing vacation (one which allows time to actually use the spa). Kids have that sweet way of making sure your are never bored while vacationing. Dear God, what kind of mother looks forward to reconnecting with her husband. (one which allows quiet dinners for two and spontaneous romantic evenings). Just having a conversation with each other uninterrupted by kids just doing what kids do best.... Being Kids.... Dear God, what in the world kind of mother looks forward to that!! This one did, or so I thought. The ride home after dropping our son off at school was the longest and most silent ride ever spent on the road. Neither Hubby or I could open our mouths without fear of getting all blubbery and emotional. Not a good state to be in while driving vehicle. So we stayed utterly silent. I mean like as in the entire 4 hour trip. It was an overwhelming feeling of aloneness. (no such word in Spellcheck) but it sums up the feelings pretty accurately. However, this did not prepare me for the complete meltdown I had once inside the house....oh no it was not a pretty sight. But Hubby and I talked through it and I adjusted nicely in my own way and time (and without professional help). However, I did not stay kidless long and now have three (4) four legged kids. Yes....they are very much like kids. Dogs are amazing. I have not been working latelyas my profession is real estate......I'm sure I can spare you the details. I have enjoyed time at home and I have gotten a chance to see how many real similarities there are between kids and dogs. Contrary to what some think, dogs do have very similar emotions to humans. They are also creatures, just like little human creatures, that are in constant need of something. All three can be taken out to do their wee-wees and the minute I sit down in front of my computer, they are at the door pawing and gyrating as though they will have an accident right then and there. Of course they don't have to go, they just don't want to be ignored and take 2nd place to my computer. The same goes with the phone. They can all be content chewing on their favorite bones all nice and quiet like. But once that phone rings and I'm on it more than two minutes, the attention getting behavior begins. They will whine, start bickering with each other or whatever other maneuver will work to get my attention. Tell me this is not exactly like a child. Sometimes it's downright scary. The last year I have been at home all day, just the dogs and I. Unfortunately I can't spend time shopping, which I love to do when I can acutally buy something. Window shopping is more like torture to me. I don't enjoy looking at all those to die for "things" that I can't afford to buy. My shopping fix these days is when I splurge at the dollar store. Based on the fact that I leave with several bags containing purchases for very little money activates that feel good chemical in my brain and all is well with the world again. But this time has really given me the opportunity to gain insight into a dog's psyche. I have witnessed how deeply canine emotions can run and it has been fun really trying to get inside the mind of a cannine. Suffice it to say, they have been keeping me busy but not done much in the way of keeping up my verbal communication skills. Hence, my blog! Blogging seemed to be a good outlet .......Kat

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